


fear is holding me down, but i wanna hold you.

by sparklingsungs



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Han Jisung | Han & Hwang Hyunjin are Best Friends, Han Jisung | Han & Lee Felix are Best Friends, M/M, Meet-Cute, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Strangers to Lovers, based on my make it hurt edit on twitter, felix platonically calls jisung babe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:28:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27428695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklingsungs/pseuds/sparklingsungs
Summary: “god, I look like an influencer,” he laughs to himself. he didn’t expect to get any questions until the next morning since it’s literally midnight on a tuesday. he skims through the questions and he can already feel his heart getting heavier, but who is he to complain when he specifically said to ‘make it hurt’?
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. make it hurt

**Author's Note:**

> hello! welcome to my newest minsung au based on my make it hurt edit on twitter! it would be great if you can check it out first before reading this to get a gist of what’s gonna happen but it’s also okay if you read this first! i’ll try my best to make it understandable without the need to watch the edit. 
> 
> here’s the link to the edit: https://twitter.com/silversungs/status/1284018959671595009?s=21
> 
> enjoy the au! i’ll try my best to consistently update this but rest assured i’ll finish this fic! pls take note that while i can speak english, it isn’t my first language so please excuse any errors :D kudos and comments are highly appreciated!

it’s been months. that’s something jisung is sure of. it’s been months since they last talked, last saw each other, last whatever it is you do with your boyfriend-of-eighteen-months-turned-ex. he’s been camping in his room again, just watching all the available episodes of haikyuu! to pass the time. 

don’t get him wrong though, he’s already done with the heartbreak. heck, he even convinced felix he’s on the fifth stage of grief already. but there are some days even he can’t convince himself. so what does jisung do? vent it all out on social media like the gen z he is.

pausing right as kenma was about to speak, he takes a look at the hidden album in his phone’s gallery. eighteen months’ worth of pictures and videos load into the screen, his mind flashing broken memories. 

“i should delete these already,” he tells himself. he glances at the clock beside his bed, 12:28 glaring in bright red, before opening Instagram. 

“what better way to let it all out than have a qna right now,” he sighs.

jisung honestly has no idea why he would even be sad and heartbroken on instragram when he literally has a private twitter account to rant on. maybe it was the need for attention? or maybe he really just wanted to let minho know he misses him. he really doesn’t know anymore. 

he chooses one of his selfies and adds in the question box. “god, I look like an influencer,” he laughs to himself. he didn’t expect to get any questions until the next morning since it’s literally midnight on a tuesday. lo and behold, his cuddle bug of a best friend lee felix, and his college-math-seatmate-turned-best-friend hwang hyunjin start spamming the question box with questions about his last relationship. he skims through them and he can already feel his heart getting heavier, but who is he to complain when he specifically said to ‘make it hurt’?

he sees a notification pop up at the top of his screen—a message from felix. he opens his messages to read what it says.

**lixie🧚 (12:31 am)**

is everything okay babe 🥺

jisung pauses at that message. is everything actually okay? he isn’t entirely sure. still, he lets out a breath and types in his reply.

**me (12:32 am)**

yep!!!

dw lix i just got bored HAHAHAHA 

i didn’t know people would actually ask tho dkdhdjhf

**lixie 🧚(12:32 am)**

well your relationship was very ideal babe so i kinda get why people would be curious to what happened with u know who

“really felix?” he says to himself, laughing at the fact that his best friend is trying to play it cool with the questions.

**me (12:33 am)**

omfg….

lix stop acting like you and hyunjin arent the ones flooding it with questions 😭😭😭

**lixie🧚 (12:33 am)**

BYESKCHSKFJJF 

HYUNJIN SAID THESE WERE ANONYMOUS 😭😭

jisung lets out a snort at that. he really can’t live without his best friends can he?

**me (12:35 am)**

clearly it isn’t with the way i know which questions are yours 😭😭😭

okay but i gotta go now lixie to answer some of YOUR questions 

also pls dont worry about me i promise i won’t cry 🥺

**lixie 🧚 (12:35 am)**

okie!!! 

it’s okay to cry dw babe that’s valid 🥺🥺🥺

but please sleep soon okay? we have class tomorrow and i do not want to drag you out of your apartment. 

**me (12:35 am)**

thank u lix <3 gn!!!

he exits his messaging app and skims through the questions one more time before choosing which one to respond to.

“well...i guess i should start with the basic ones.”


	2. question 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just as minho turns their back on them to stand in the queue, jisung turns his face to felix, who’s obviously holding in his laugh with a smirk. “felix! you didn’t tell me THE dancer you keep talking about is a literal god!,?,!,?” at hearing that, felix lets go and laughs his heart out as his best friend stresses over his friend.
> 
> “babe,” a laugh, “didn’t i already tell you he was hot?”
> 
> “yeah you did but not THIS hot,” jisung half-screeches at him as he flails his hands around.

— how did you meet? 

he remembers it was a chilly day. the wind frequently tossing his brown hair around as he heads to the café felix texted him. he’s nervous, yes, but also quite excited to meet THE dancer felix keeps telling him about. from all the stories his best friend has told him, jisung has already cooked up an imaginary person in his mind. in jisung’s head THE dancer is quite lean, his body almost like that one figure skater jisung saw on twitter that received a lot of winnie the pooh stuffies. he’s excited to meet the guy so he can see if his imagination was good enough compared to the real thing. also because he wants to stop pertaining to him as THE dancer. 

as soon as he walks through the door, bell chiming and the smell of coffee and cinnamon attacking his nose, he sees a small hand, looking even smaller with the sweater paw, wave at him. he heads towards the table only to be engulfed in a hug by none other than his twin.

“jisung! thank god you’re here! minho hyung’s been teasing me about how you obviously stood me up,” felix whined with that little pout on his lips. 

just as jisung was about to say how he, as the greatest best friend in the world, would never leave felix hanging, a fond chuckle rings through his ears, causing him to flinch and look behind felix. what he sees shouldn’t be something as shocking if he saw a dinosaur like the ones in documentaries he watches on youtube at 2am.

no, in fact, it’s just a man. a really beautiful man at that. 

and jisung, oh god his mind is going blank, just stares at the man whose chuckling caused his eyes to crinkle in the cutest way possible despite the black bucket hat and his light brown hair covering most of it. 

if you were a mere customer at the cafe, you’d see a man in a light blue denim jacket, gawking at a man in an all black ensemble, while still being held at arm’s length by a blond man in a white sweater, which shouldn’t be an odd scene except for the fact that said man in a denim jacket is leaning sideways to look behind the blond man for a disturbingly long amout of time. 

in jisung’s head though, he can hear copious amounts of hyunjin screaming at such a high volume his rational conscience is filing a mental note to stop using hyunjin’s voice as his alarm. hyunjin’s voice as his daily alarm has really taken a toll on his thought process and right now isn’t an exception. alongside hyunjin’s screaming in his head, jisung’s fight or flight response has been lagging because _holy shit it’s THE dancer_ , and he’s internally screaming at his body to stand upright because his back is aching. curse his bad posture.

“uhm...felix? is your best friend okay?” he distantly hears THE dancer address his lack of cognitive ability right now and all he can think is how heavenly his voice sounds. 

he finally, bless felix’s patience, gains back his senses to THE dancer looking at him with concern (and is that..intrigue?) in his eyes and he finally breaks eye contact with THE dancer when felix shakes him so aggressively he feels like his hair is all messed up now.

“jisung! hello???? i know minho is handsome, babe, but don’t embarrass me like that!” THE dancer or, well, minho, can’t help but laugh at how felix is half-whispering, half-screaming at jisung who is _thankfully_ standing straight again but still blinking rapidly at felix still shaking him. 

“felix! ow! stop it!” jisung finally screeches out as he finally gets his brain going again and starts bowing at the people near their table for the commotion he and his best friend caused. he finally sits down in the only vacant chair and tries his best to avoid eye contact with THE dancer. his internal monologue ranging from screeching to convincing himself that _no, THE dancer doesn’t find you weird, don’t worry._

“-sung, this is minho.” jisung finally looks up to look at felix beside him when he feels felix’s hand smack his shoulder. 

“felix, stop torturing him. i thought he was your best friend,” jisung turns to THE dancer, wait, MINHO! as he lightheartedly calls out felix’s choice of calling jisung’s attention. jisung stares at minho, he keeps repeating that name in his mind so he can already get used to calling him that, and minho stares back before holding out his hand.

“hi there, jisung. i’m minho,” god minho’s talking to him while putting out his hand, jisung just stares at his hand, his mind running at 275 kilometers per hour right now wondering how soft THE dancer’s hand would be (his mind is still screaming at him that “HIS NAME IS MINHO!”).

_**oh.** _

he’s asking for a handshake.

jisung jolts up and looks at minho’s eyes, they’re so deep and cat-like he wouldn’t mind drowning in them. minho still has that hint of intrigue in his eyes and a little concern for jisung’s still lagging state. 

“oh my god! yes! you’re THE dancer felix has been talking about! i’m jisung. han jisung. aka the best friend of this guy right here,” he points at felix whose face looks mildly concerned and amused at his best friend. 

“i’ve heard so much about you! it’s nice to finally meet you!” jisung flashes his excited smile, the smile where his eyes crinkle so much they look like two lines across his face, and his cheeks bunch up high he looks puffier than a marshmallow. he hears a chuckle ring out through the silence and feels a hand grasp his own. 

“it’s nice to meet you too, jisung. felix has only been telling you good things about me, i hope.” he laughs again at that and _god_ jisung decides right now and right here that he wants that to be his new alarm. sorry, not sorry hyunjin. 

“hey!” they laugh at felix’s attempt at defending himself.

“be thankful i didn’t talk about your weird obsession with keeping tissues, hyung,” felix snickers as minho’s eyes widen in panic.

“it’s a collection, felix!” minho whines, and starts his spontaneous rambling with felix on how the tissues he collects are the ones with logos on them and not just the regular tissues in every store. as the two dancers’ banter continues, jisung can’t help but realize that minho’s hand is still holding his, and _wow_ they’re so soft, jisung tightens his hold on it just a little. another thought also comes into his mind, and he comically widens his eyes as he realizes that ‘ _HOLY HELL REAL MINHO IS WAY HOTTER THAN MY IMAGINARY MINHO!’_ and his mind stays on that realization for a while, just staring at minho’s face, or side profile... just minho, as he still talks with felix. he lets go of jisung’s hand as he animatedly starts talking about his cats, “soonie, doongie, and dori. in that order.” and jisung can’t help but miss the soft warmth that was enveloping his hand earlier.

“oh wait! jisung what do you wanna get? it’s on me,” minho is smiling at him AGAIN and jisung can’t help but be enamored by that smile.

“i’ll just have a slice of cheesecake and an iced americano, if that’s okay,” he shyly tells minho his food preferences as minho nods and stands up to place their orders.

just as minho turns their back on them to stand in the queue, jisung turns his face to felix, who’s obviously holding in his laugh with a smirk. “felix! you didn’t tell me THE dancer you keep talking about is a literal god!,?,!,?” at hearing that, felix lets go and laughs his heart out as his best friend stresses over his friend.

“babe,” a laugh, “didn’t i already tell you he was hot?”

“yeah you did but not _THIS_ hot,” jisung half-screeches at him as he flails his hands around, “i can’t believe i just paused in front of him!” jisung groans as he slumps beside his best friend who’s still fondly laughing at him while petting his hair.

“well... isn’t he your type?” jisung groans again at felix’s teasing tone and he knows felix would be wiggling his eyebrows if he was looking at him.

“god, shut up will you? i’ve already embarrassed myself enough,” he mumbles into felix’s shoulder as he takes the weight of his situation earlier.

“oh please, he looked amused with you, babe! you didn’t embarrass yourself, trust me!” felix says in that encouraging tone of his. jisung can’t help but roll his eyes at that.

“okay, that’s enough moping for now, he’s already back,” felix smirks at him as jisung panic-fixes his hair and sits straight as minho returns with their food.

as jisung is handed is food, he takes a bite off his cheesecake, his cheeks bulging out like a squirrel’s and squeals in delight, “this is so good! thanks for paying minho-ssi,” he smiles at minho despite his puffed up cheeks and minho returns his smile. 

“no problem jisung,” he chuckles, “you can pay me back some other time.” 

he ends that offer with a smirk, and jisung can hear felix’s “ooooh minho hyung is already making a move on you, babe!” 

jisung can’t help but blush at that offer because _‘oh my god he wants to meet me again?’_ and so he replies with “sure! how can i say no?” as he laughs in defeat.

“okay! now let me just take a photo for my instagram story as proof to hyunjin that you actually met hyung already,” felix announces as he pulls up his phone and sports a heart before pressing the shutter. 

they sat there the entire morning, just talking, with minho and jisung getting to know each other while jisung enjoys his iced americano and cheesecake. ‘clearly the best combo,’ he thinks to himself.

jisung smiles at himself as he remembers that day, and pulls up the photo to put on his response for the first question. he also types in a caption, trying his best to keep it short and simple, but still a little funny, so people think he’s already over him. he rolls his eyes at that because ‘really? i don’t need to assure people that i’m over him.’

as he waits for his response to upload, he scrolls through the questions again and selects another one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i was trying to reference yuzuru hanyu haha the tissue collection is real i literally have a friend and ive supported them by getting tissues when i travelled bfskjckd i hope you enjoyed it! kudos and comments are very appreciated!!


	3. question 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “well, i guess that’s my cue to leave! i’ll see you around minho! i’ll be waiting for your message!” jisung says as he starts to walk towards felix, turning back to wave at minho, who also waves at both jisung and felix before walking away.
> 
> “so....” felix eyes him, “there’s a future date huh?”

— first impression?

jisung racks his brain at this one, trying to remember what he actually thought of minho the first time he met him. “well, i guess he seemed really scary since he was wearing black that day?” he talks to no one in particular.

“yeah, but then he was a really chill guy when we started talking, well talking after i stopped spacing out,” he laughs at himself, “god, that was so embarrassing.”

he remembers the exact moment he thought minho wasn’t as scary as his mind conjured him to be. they were already getting ready to leave, he and felix going in the same direction, with minho towards the opposite. just as they were turning back to each other, he feels a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look back to see minho, in his black bucket hat glory.

“hey! uhm...well, i know we only just met... but... you see, i just wanna say i enjoyed your company today.” minho says as he tries to hold eye contact with jisung but ultimately fails. jisung smiles at this because he enjoyed minho’s company as well.

“i enjoyed today too! thanks for paying by the way, i still owe you one,” he directs a smile at minho when he locks eyes with him and minho returns a shy, but still pretty, smile.

“oh! that was nothing,” he rubs the back of his nape as he starts a staring contest with jisung, “but i was hoping, well if it’s okay with you, to get your number? for when we, uhm, meet up again? only if you’re fine with it!” he rambles on as jisung tilts his head to the side. 

_‘minho wants my number...?’_ he stares as minho squirms in his place, still waiting for jisung’s response.

jisung jumps as he realizes he hasn’t answered minho yet, “oh! of course! can i have your phone? you can just text me when we can meet up and i’ll try my best to see if i’m available by then,” he shoots minho another smile as he takes minho’s phone and types in his number. he thinks for a moment what he should put as his contact name, but regretfully settles for just a “jisung”, before handing it back to him. minho brightens up as he received his phone again, now with the contact of his new friend, and a possible meetup with him in the near future. 

“thanks, jisung! i’ll be sure to text you when. i better get going now, you should too. felix is waiting,” he giggles as jisung turns back to see his best friend looking at them, with a smirk on his lips and an eyebrow raised at the interaction he’s currently seeing. 

“oh don’t mind me! i’m okay here! just let me know when you’re done flirting with my best friend, hyung!” felix shouts back at the two as they snicker from their place, about two meters away from the blond man. 

“well, i guess that’s my cue to leave! i’ll see you around minho! i’ll be waiting for your message!” jisung says as he starts to walk towards felix, turning back to wave at minho, who also waves at both jisung and felix before walking away.

“so....” felix eyes him with a look that says ‘you better tell me what happened han jisung or i will not hesitate to get it out of you myself through any way possible.’ “there’s a future date huh?”

“what?! no! it’s not a date! i’ll just pay him back for today.” he pushes felix’s shoulder when he sees his face, clearly not believing a thing he said.

“fine! okay! whatever you say, babe!” he smiles innocently as he raises up his hands in imaginary defeat, “but you’re still gonna tell me what happened okay?”

jisung sighs, clearly he has no way out of this, and just promises felix to tell him everything.

now that he’s at home, in the confines of the four walls of his apartment, jisung takes a deep breath, before collecting his thoughts on the day’s events. 

after taking a few more deep breaths, he finally manages to let out a scream of “HOLY SHIT HE ASKED FOR MY NUMBER!!!!” as he jumps around, feeling his heart beating at such a fast rate. after a few minutes of butterflies-in-his-stomach induced screaming and jumping, he finally stops and takes a deep breath to calm down. he heads to the kitchen to drink a glass of water because, **_fuck_ ** _, all that screaming and jumping really tired me out._

he reaches for his phone when he feels it vibrate twice in his pocket. the first notification was from felix, tagging him in his new instagram story. and the other was from an unknown number. jisung widens his eyes and thinks _‘damn that was really fast.’_ he doesnt bother checking felix’s story until later because he checks the unknown number’s message first. and thank god his expectations were met because it really was minho. he can’t help but laugh at the succeeding messages after minho’s introduction though, so he just laughs to himself, in the confines of his room, as he chats away with minho.

**minho🐱 (10:47 am)**

hey jisung! it’s minho :D

i already told you this earlier but i just wanted to say again that i had so much fun today! it was so nice meeting you 

also just to clarify, i hope you don’t find it weird that i’m collecting branded tissue paper right? 😬

because if you do find it weird, that’s not gonna stop me from collecting it and i might just start dragging you into my tissue-paper collecting hobby 😤

btw!! can we meet up next saturday at the same place? for the thing you owe me haha let me know when you’re available!

oh god i should stop rambling i think i’m spamming you already gdkdhdjf okay see you then jisung! i’ll wait for your reply!

**me (10:53 am)**

hi minho-ssi!!! saturday works for me :D

is it okay if we meet at around 3pm though? i have some work to finish the night before and i might sleep in so i don’t wanna keep you waiting :3

**minho🐱 (10:55 am)**

3pm sounds amazing and please just call me minho or hyung 😉

**me (10:56 am)**

that’s great! also, nope i don’t find your tissue-paper collection weird hyung HAHAHAH it’s very unique ngl 🤟

**minho 🐱 (10:56 am)**

that’s a relief hahaha i thought i scared you with that earlier when felix said it at the cafe.

jisung can still recall most of their first conversation, and thinks, ‘yeah that was probably when i scrapped my first impression of him’. he pulls up a new instagram story and attaches a picture of minho on one of their cafe runs, and starts putting in a caption.

he glances at the clock and sees 1:13 a.m. stare right back at him. 

“eh, it’s not like i’m sleepy either. i’ll just answer a few more questions until i fall asleep.” he pulls up the questions typed in by mostly felix and hyunjin, and the occasional person he doesn’t know. 

he picks a new question, “wow these questions are moving way too fast,” he breathes out a laugh as he exits instagram to find another picture to attach to his next ig story response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh to have a best friend like lee felix 😩😩😩 also he just uploaded sunshine vlog #2!!!!! he’s such an angel :((( 
> 
> as always, kudos and comments are highly appreciated!!!


End file.
